Human Dog Babies From Russia!

I was doing some paperwork this afternoon when Tracy and Gloria came running into my room with big news.

TRACY: Tristan, do you think a man can have a baby with a dog?

ME: What?

TRACY: A man.

ME: With a dog?

TRACY: Do you think about it, actually?

ME: No, I don’t, actually.

TRACY: You know, I cannot imagine it, but I have seen it.

ME: You saw a man have a baby with a dog?

GLORIA: From the news!

TRACY: Here. On the news. You cannot know the Chinese, but I tell you.

GLORIA: It is horrible! It is a baby mixed dog!

TRACY: You can see that a man with his neighbor dog have something, then the neighbor didn’t know. When the dog mother have five baby, the neighbor know the man with the dog.

ME: It had five baby whats?

TRACY: Five babies. Four is dog. One is not.

ME: Oh come on. There’s no way you can have five baby dogs and one baby, human dog thing.

GLORIA: Impossible!

TRACY: I read it on Facebook. See! You will not know, it is in Chinese.

ME: Okay, translate the text for me.

TRACY: Okay. “Today I hear horrible news, I found some news that a man with his neighbor dog have some…”


TRACY: Yes. “Then, the dog have five baby, and one is the horrible thing.”

GLORIA: Horrible!

TRACY: Yes. “One family at night have five dog and one horrible thing, and the news said that the horrible thing is mutual.”

ME: Mutual?


ME: Oh, mature.

TRACY: Yes, “it is a mature baby.”

ME: Do you mean pre-mature?

TRACY: Oh, yes. “He have forelegs like human and he has the boy, um…”

ME: Parts?

TRACY: Yes, “but his frame is like dog and like human, but he has a tail.”

GLORIA: And no hair. He has no hair. Not like dog.

TRACY: “Owner found he has die already and the other dogs and the mother around the horrible thing, and when this event publish, the neighbors boy, his son, say the man always tell the dog mother ‘come, come, come to my home,’ and he saw through the window that behind the dog mother he do something.”

ME: What?

TRACY: And when the dog mother does not want to do this, he give some food for her. He said it horrible.

GLORIA: Horrible! Horrible!

ME: I’m pretty sure that’s not true.

TRACY: I study biology, it is impossible.

GLORIA: It is fake!

TRACY: Dog and human DNA, it is impossible.

ME: You know what this is? It’s just a really ugly baby the dog had. That’s it.

GLORIA: I don’t know, my friend post this on my Facebook, so I seen it.

TRACY: Human have 46 DNA genes, but dogs only 20-something, so you cannot have the… the egg cannot let the sperm in because different DNA. It’s true. My mother said maybe some trick.

ME: I think it’s a trick.

TRACY: But after I believe a trick, I found in some website many China news operation company they publish this, so I don’t know. But it’s not in China, in Russia. But I want to know how this happen, because the DNA is impossible.

ME: I’m pretty sure it’s impossible.

TRACY: Okay, we do homework.

GLORIA: Bye bye!

ME: Bye.

I’m almost done with my paperwork now.

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